Positive Mantra

Take a "time out." Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.
Mayo Clinic

Relaxation can be achieved by replacing your
angry thoughts or images with those that are peaceful and
tranquil. Use your imagination and let it take you to a
happier time in your life or a more peaceful setting. Allow
yourself to relive a proud moment from your childhood or
to visually experience the vacation of your dreams.
Whether you are hitting the game-winning home run in little
league or lying on the most beautiful beach in the world, it
is extremely difficult to feel angry while feeling so at peace.
Dr. Lyle Becourtney

Don't vent out your anger; this may seem a strange thing to say, as a decade ago, any psychiatrist would tell you keep a punching bag for beating up when you are angry. Modern research shows the more you practice a particular emotion, you are more likely to use it too, just like the age-old idiom "practice makes perfect". So, instead of venting out anger, concentrate on eliminating it completely by thinking of better, nicer things. Reminiscing about something you've truly enjoyed in the past will take you mind away from the current anger. Also, make use of the old method advising you to "count to ten". Except, without making a boring 1,2,3...give a twist to it, and count to make it fun, like "1-frosted cake, 2-frosted cakes...by concentrating on the counting, you'll let go you of your anger.
Trevor Johnson

Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.
Buddha.

Once you’re aware of what types of things make you angry, you can start cutting some of these triggers out of your life. For example, if you find that you often get angry in the car when you’re in a hurry and slow traffic makes you late, you can work on reorganizing your schedule to find a few extra minutes to accommodate traffic. You can play music in your car to relax you, or use stress management techniques to calm your physiology.
Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Recognizing angry feelings. The first step is to recognize the early warning signs of anger. For people who tend to blow up, the trick is to learn to feel the anger when it is simply irritation or frustration. Learning to recognize that something is bothering you early will help you to deal with it sooner, before you get so upset that you cannot manage your response. For people who repress their anger the trick is to recognize the anger before you store it away. Usually people who repress anger actually feel anger, but they label it as stress or sadness. It will be important to start to recognize that the uncomfortable feelings of muscle tightness or anxiety are really angry feelings.
jbisonaroll

Dispassionate, such as giving the cold shoulder or phony smiles, looking cool, sitting on the fence while others sort things out, dampening feelings with substance abuse (to include overeating), oversleeping, not responding to other’s anger, frigidity, indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of participants, giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or intellectual pursuits, talking of frustrations but showing no feeling is passive anger.
Anonymous

It is important to maintain balance with your stress levels. Incorporate daily stress relief activities such as meditation and exercise to keep your stress levels regulated. Often when people are "too stressed" they become irritable and angry. Take time out for yourself and unwind... relax... do yourself and your family a favour.
Anonymous

Posted by JayRaj at 08:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Albert Schweitzer

Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. Courage is what counts.
Sir Winston Churchill

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein

Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.
Napoleon Hill

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.
Mahatma Gandhi

Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.
Denis Waitley

It is time for us to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever, the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.
Vince Lombardi

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas Edison

It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.
Aristotle

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.
Henry Drummond

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Abraham Lincoln

My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that 'achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that's nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.'
Helen Hayes

We never know how far reaching something we may think, say or do today will affect the lives of millions tomorrow.
BJ Palmer

Posted by JayRaj at 08:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Let’s get it straight right away. All children lie or steal at some point of time. Only the frequency may vary. Parents needn’t worry if the child lies, but must take care to explain that one must always speak the truth. And by doing that the child’s parents can find a solution to the actual problem.

Every child must be taught that to lie isn’t accepted behaviour. And if one wants to be loved and cared for, one must always speak the truth. Rigid rules and over expectant parents are often the cause for persistent lying in children. It’s very difficult indeed for a child to confirm to every rule. So whenever he flouts a rule, he resorts to lying fearing a reprimand by the disciplinarian father. So it undoes what a parent actually wants of the child.

Its wise for parents not to confront the child, “Don’t lie. Tell me why did you lie….. will you lie again”. That’s a typical reaction of an overanxious parent. Do not instill guilt in the child over small matters. His character hasn’t been damaged because he lied once or twice. And the same time don’t let the child feel it isn’t wrong. Encourage him to express his actual problem. And in earnest see the solution. Just make him feel it’d be a lot better if he didn’t repeat that.

Some parents may laugh over an incident where the child lies. That could be a tragedy. Do not send wrong signals. Above all, you don’t lie to each other or to the child over anything. Speak the truth. Remember, the truth frees us all.

Stealing
Just another common behaviour problem associated with slightly grown up children, say about seven years onwards. As children begin to grow up, letting go of the hem of the mother’s dress, they learn to be individuals with thoughts of their own. And things of their own. Picking up signals from those around, children begin to identify things as their own and somebody else’s. They develop a deep attachment for certain toys and definitely pride too.

It all starts with toys. Toys draw the admiration of friends and give endless joy. And hence, the occasional ‘stealing’ of a neighbor’s toy shouldn’t shock the parents. If ever they discover this they could politely hand it over. Cool your nerves. Don’t reprimand or spank the child. This is a normal thing that happens universally. Let not the child feel he’s done a grave crime or broken one of your Ten Commandments. Be tactful in explaining that the toy belongs to the other child. And that he can play with it when they are together, but shouldn’t bring it home. Moreover, tell the child he too has a lot of toys and he could share it with friends. Although sharing isn’t a habit acquired easily. Slowly but persistently (and certainly not forcefully) the joy of sharing can be put across. But never ask a child to share something he’s isn’t letting go easily. A child must first of all enjoy possession of his toys, before hi is willing to share. And as parents you must understand this.

In older children, stealing (let’s say of toys) may be creep in as a result of deprivation of the same at home. Or because that toy card, game , pen or ball is the cynosure of all kids in the neighborhood. The resulting envy may force the child to ‘steal’ the toy, at other times, older children do a ‘heroic act’ stealing chocolates or smaller items from shops,. This is more of a ‘gang act’ as several children go to the shop to buy and one of them ‘does the act’.

Don’t bring the roof down if your son is caught red-handed. You may have to call upon all your patience to handle this. Embarrassing problem. Gently tell the child that he could have always asked you if he needed that. And you cold have bought it. Put it across that its not accepted behaviour to do this. Tell the child you’ll be very happy if he didn’t repeat the mistake.

Chronic lying or cheating, however needs to be treated seriously. Probe deeply into causes and fix the problems at the start. Usually deep-seated anxieties could result in this, say child psychologists.

Points to ponder
Your child will learn a lot from your behaviour, choose how you want him to grow up.
Improving your personality has a bearing on the child
Set an example and the child will follow suit

Write down clearly how you’d want your son to be
At home
At work
At social life

Points to ponder
Character and values are vital to happiness in life
Attitude is key to success
Relationships are critical

Behaviour problems
Never forget that
a. Its unwise to confront the child with a behaviour problem.
b. First, confirm that he has made a mistake.
c. You must first follow the rules.
d. Threatening or spanking should be the last resort.
e. Rewarding good behaviour ensures repetition of the same.
f. Children love to please their parents
g. Love, care and understanding alone can help your child.
h. Degrading your son in front of other children will only worsen your problem.
i. Complaining to others will affect his self-esteem.

Posted by JayRaj at 06:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Research points out that students succeed academically, socially, at sports and work better if their parents were actively involved in the child’s progress at school. While most parents feel unwelcome at schools, they are also partly to blame. Let’s remember that the child is at home for nearly 16 hours a day and parents could make a big impact on the child’s environment. The involvement of parents is likely to have a larger impact on studies than family income or lifestyle.

What should teachers do?
1. Make contact with parents
The more teachers get to know parents, the better their suggestion for the student’s improvement.

2. Be positive
Whenever parents get a call they are reluctant to come to school thinking its going to be another complaint session. Turn this around and say good things about children. Then parents will be willing to hear the wrong side of their children too.

3. Give them the chance to speak
Hear their opinions, fears, concerns and you’ll learn a lot about the child’s family environment.

4. Organize regular meetings
This ensures that parents are kept informed about the child’s activities.

5. Send notes as often as possible
Whether it’s the child’s activities, tests, projects, scores, meetings, forthcoming events, keep them posted.

6. Give parenting tips
Parents these days are under tremendous pressure to bring up children in a competitive world and they’ll need plenty of parenting guidance. This can be done in the form of informal discussions, seminar or newsletters.

7. Equip parents to handle studies.
Helping the parents know what skills are required to support studies at home makes for improved grades.

8. Create a resource centre
Ask parents to come over and share resources such as skills for better parenting, CDs, Cassettes, library, seminars, Parent Teacher Association meetings, expert talks on family values etc.

Posted by JayRaj at 09:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Patience and tact besides understanding poor eating habits is the only way out to manage kids who don’t eat well. Here’s a handy guide to managing them. Parents are generally at their wit’s end in dealing with a poor eater at home. But child care specialists point out that there is nothing to worry. Every child has an in-born mechanism that knows how much food the child needs. Children with feeding problems do not suffer from malnutrition, although this sounds contrary to logic. So how do you deal with a child who makes you stand on your head for eating a morsel of food.

Eating should be fun
Mealtime should be filled with pleasure, not pressure. When the family sits down for dinner, take utmost care not to urge children to eat more. Stay relaxed although your parental instincts may cause worry about the thin girl sitting next to you. The child tends to build up resistance to eating, when constantly urged by concerned parents. Relax and let the child have what he wants. Don’t bother if he eats more vegetables and less of rice, as long as she is eating something.

Give what he wants
Every kid has his favorites, and your child certainly likes some dishes more than others. Try giving him what he loves, preferably wholesome food. But, do not go overboard in taking too much pain to prepare the eats. Always serve less than his appetite to ensure that, like Oliver Twist, he asks for more. Stuffing too much onto his paste develops a bad taste towards food. Even if you want him to eat a little more just ask, “would you like to have a second helping of this”, in a matter of fact way. Not with too much concern, which children are quick to spot and exploit.

Should the child be left alone to eat?
You must be careful not to make any sudden changes in the eating habits. If it is the family practice to watch TV or play music at dinner so it must be. If everyone eats together it must continue, unless you can’t stand the sight of him eating just two teaspoonful of rice. Even then leaving the table should be done tactfully, so he doesn’t think that there is loss of parental love. Just leave him to eat as much as possible. Remember, if he is hungry he’ll seek food. It may actually take days or weeks for the rights appetite to surface, but you must be patient then.

Feeding the child
Upto the age of 12 months, it is ok. But between 12-18 months attempts, must be made to help the child eat on his own. Make him feel it’s a privilege for a grown up child. Now and then the child may refuse to eat, forcing you to feed him. But do not give in easily. Try telling him, “I don’t think you’re hungry, why don’t you eat a little later”. Again, reiterate. You will need to sum all the reserve of patience deep inside you. Praise him a little for being on his own.

Once you begin to worry and relapse into feeding him, you will find it doubly difficult to make him eat on his own. A word of caution. A child’s obstinance generally outlasts the parent’s. You‘ll be pushed to the verge of tears often.

No meal deals
“Son, you won’t get your apple until you’ve finished cleaning your plate”, is a classic warning to children. But, it actually builds more disgust for eating than ever before. Threatening may temporarily work, but fails miserably in the long run.

“One mouthful for your sister, one for your grandma and one for your friend,” is another pitiable technique of over-concerned parents. Unless the child’s natural appetite is awakened, this will not bring the desired result. The child may eat a little more but it builds up resistance against food. And it is certainly not worth the trouble.

“You are my darling child, eat just a little more…. Just this much”, is another wrong strategy. The moment you turn meek, the child understands your weakness. Amazingly such children will refuse to eat and you will be breaking your head against the wall.

I’ll take you to Sam’s house, if you finish your plate or I’ll buy you cholocates when you’re through”, is found to fail, for you’ll soon find yourself buying everything on earth just to make her eat. In the bargain you’d be doing just the opposite of what you wanted to achieve. Since he’ll never begin to eat well and his natural appetite will be killed.

Posted by JayRaj at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Short Xmas Poetry for sharing joys during Christmas Festival.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish,
it grows small.
Eva K Logue

What Do We Love About Christmas?
What do we love about Christmas;
Does our delight reside in things?
Or are the feelings in our hearts
The real gift that Christmas brings.

It's seeing those we love,
And sending Christmas cards, too,
Appreciating people who bring us joy
Special people just like you.
Joanna Fuchs

Peace on earth will come to stay,
When we live Christmas every day
Helen Steiner Rice

Your friendship is a glowing ember
Through the year; and each December
From its warm and living spark
We kindle flame against the dark
And with its shining radiance light
Our tree of faith on Christmas night.
Thelma J. Lund

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know,
Where the tree tops glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.
Irving Berlin

Christmas Fun
The tempting gifts are tantalizing;
About opening them, we are fantasizing.
The holiday foods are appetizing;
Our excitement and joy are growing and rising;
Our hearts and minds are harmonizing;
Jolly Christmas fun we're maximizing!
Joanna Fuchs

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
Oren Arnold

A song was heard at Christmas
To wake the midnight sky:
A saviour's birth, and peace on earth,
And praise to God on high.
The angels sang at Christmas
With all the hosts above,
And still we sing the newborn King
His glory and his love.
Timothy Dudley Smith

There's More to Christmas...
There's more, much more to Christmas
Than candle-light and cheer;
It's the spirit of sweet friendship
That brightens all the year;
It's thoughtfulness and kindness,
It's hope reborn again,
For peace, for understanding
And for goodwill to men!
Anonymous

From home to home,
and heart to heart,
from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas,
brings us closer to each other.
Emily Matthews

Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel,
in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others
is good you do yourself.
Norman W. Brooks

Posted by JayRaj at 08:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Xmas is indeed inspiring. Get yourself energised with these lovely quotations.

If I could wish a wish for you, it would be for peace and happiness not only now, but for the whole year through!
Catherine Pulsifer

Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart...filled it, too, with melody that would last forever.
Bess Streeter Aldrich (Song of Years)

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
Bill McKibben

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
Roy L. Smith

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.
Ruth Carter Stapleton

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.
Charles Schulz

Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.
Max Lucado

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
Eric Sevareid

Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river of time flows past. Today's Christmas should mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and reliving those of yesterday.
Gladys Tabor

Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God.
George F. McDougall

Posted by JayRaj at 07:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Happy Christmas quotes you will love to send family and friends. Be inspired by these positive xmas quotations.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you ... to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old ... Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest ting in the world ... stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death... Then you can keep Christmas! But you can never keep it alone.
- Henry van Dyke ("Keeping Christmas" in The Spirit of Christmas)

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
- Bill McKibben

What do you tell your children about Christmas? What do you understand about Christmas? Is Christmas all about giving and receiving presents? Or is it about Christmas trees and Santa Claus? Here are some beautiful Christmas quotes that express the meaning of Christmas.
W. T. Ellis

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
~ Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), American author and humorist.

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
- Oren Arnold

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
- Henry Van Dyke

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
~ Peg Bracken.

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
Agnes M Pharo

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.
Dave Barry

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide–open–heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.
George Matthew Adams in "The Christmas Heart

""Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.""
Author: Dr. Seuss

Posted by JayRaj at 08:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)