Monday, May 29, 2006

Win Friends and Influence People Positively

Successful people follow a few secrets to win friends. Here are a few tips for you to practise.

Listen to them
Everyone has a lot to say about their triumphs, tragedies and dreams. People want to be heard. And the one who listens in earnest is bound to gain the honour of being a good friend. Sometimes it could be a joke, a personal problem or an opinion on something. By providing an outlet to someone's thoughts and emotions, you help the person feel good, after he has unwinded his thoughts. You may not be able to solve his problem, but you can give him a feeling of being wanted.

Learn to appreciate
Compliments create a feeling of goodness. It's a positive stroke on the person's confidence. It's a stimulant to self esteem. You needn't wait for someone to scale Mount Everest to pat his back. It could be a new hairstyle or salwar kameez, a task completed, small favour done or even a joke well told.

Take them with their faults
Nobody is perfect, there will be flaws of one or another kind - laziness, forgetfulness, lying about small things, not fulfilling promises, being behind the clock, short-tempered or selfishness. Infact, you yourself may have some flaws in you. One must be like a mother who loves her child despite all this. Don't encourage them when they are at fault. Learn to put them on the right track, but over a period of time. Tell him it's quite normal, but he'd be better off without it. This way they'll not only respect you, but look upon you for help and advice.

Take the lead
People always rally behind leaders, who are the cynosure of the group. Whether it's a friend birthday bash, a community clean-up operation, raising resources to help someone, pulling your friend through a tragedy, organising a cricket match or arranging an electrician to repair a neighbour's fan, take the initiative and people will remember the gesture.

Care for the small things
Friends always remember a nice gesture, a kind word or gentle remark more than anything else. The first call on her birthday, the shoulder lent on the day he failed to crack a big interview, a joke that soothed a friend's tense nerves, coming to his rescue during a heated argument with colleagues, or a compliment on her dress sense, are all unforgettable moments. Have a good word for all, anytime, anywhere. They could soothe a tensed nerve, put a smile back in place or restore confidence in someone. Don't forget birthdays, go back on promise or fail to keep an appointment. Erase bad memories of friendship.