How to Spot Signs of Sexual Abuse in Children?

This is every Parent's Guide to preventing sexual abuse in children. Learn the tell tale signs of sexual abuse and the art of preventing it.

Listen to your child’s cries. Look for signs of sexual abuse. Prevent by making the child aware of sexual abuse.

Would you believe that the chances of your child being sexually abused is as high as 90%? And the terrible thing about it is …….. a trusted relative, a long-time friend or respected neighbor will be the perpetrator. Children are so vulnerable to abuse in our society where tradition demands utmost respect for elders. Grown-ups take advantage of this and even threaten a child to make it succumb. Since children can hardly understand the feelings that go with abuse, they are at a loss to explain to parents the incident. Shame, guilt and fear of being reprimanded force the child into agonizing silence, more often leaving an indelible psychological scar for life.

What’s it really?
Sexual abuse can be verbal, visual, physical or emotional. Fondling and touching the private parts is just one bit. Exposing the child to the adult’s private parts, showing revealing pictures or playing adult films in the company of child. Undressing, fondling on the pretext of giving a bath to the child, or even worse getting the child to do things on the adult, are other forms. Older children sometimes indulge in sexual play in the pretext of role-playing as parents.

What dares them to do it?
. Child’s trust in them
. Child’s inadequacy in understanding what’s happening
. Pliability of children
. Children easily succumb to threats
. Parents generally admonish children who may be attempting to say something against an elder
. Confident of not being confronted by a victim’s parent.

Signs of sexual abuse
It is unlikely that a young victim can articulate a sexual exploit. Hence, it’s the parents who must look for signals of distress and abnormal behaviour. Physical tell tale signs are rare. Therefore, an adult has to look for behavioral changes.
. fear or dislike of certain adults
. refusal to go to some people’s home
. sudden drop in scores at school
. general disinterest
. withdrawing from playing with other children
. unusual disobedience
. display of unseen aggression
. interrupted sleeping patterns
. health problems
. odd behaviour in the presence of certain adults
. low self-esteem
. depression
. using ‘sexual language’ that doesn’t go with the respective age
. indulging in sexual play-acts with other children
. undressing or posing nude in front of playmates
. displaying interest when parents change

Listen to the child’s cry
When your child reports an ‘accident,’ never admonish the child straightaway. Encourage the child to express the details. Reassure the child that everything is all right. Assuage his/her feelings to avoid shame or guilt overcoming the child. Assure the child that you’ll warn the offender and see to it that isn’t repeated. Do not discuss the ‘incident’ before others, and help the child to get over it. Commend the child for its honesty and prompt reporting. Remember, the child looks up at you as the protector. And you must act like one.

How to Prevent Sexual abuse of your Child?
Parents can’t always be there when things happen. But, certainly, they can train children to identify and repel probable offenders.
Tell children that certain parts of the body are private and they are not to be touched by anyone.
Ask children to report any ‘advances’ made by adults, however close they may be to the child or you.
Always keep an eye on children when they play with adults or older children.
Teach children to warn adults who misbehave – “I will report this to mom (or dad).
Teach children that dressing and undressing should only be done at home either alone or in the company of parents.
Tell children that they must never do what they dislike. And speak up for things.
Talk to children generally about whom they like and dislike. This will throw up signals, if at all there’s any.

Gosh! My child has been……………. Tell the child that it wasn’t his/her fault at all. Keep out feelings of shame or guilt.
. Comfort the child and encourage it to spell out the incident in detail
. Confront the individual in the presence of the child (tactfully, though)
. Never let the offender ever get close to your child
. Don’t panic or overreact
. Avoid talking about the incident even to others in the family
. Warn the offender if necessary even threaten to take-up issue with the offender’s family
. If child shows abnormal behavioral pattern even after a few weeks, then consult a child psychiatrist

Warning: Don’t brush aside complaints from your child
Believe the child, you’re the only one it trusts
Always remember children don’t have a motive in saying things. So there’s every reason he’s telling the truth.

Is your child being sexually abused?
Always
1. Attend to your child when she displays erratic behaviour
2. Trust the child when she complains
3. Handle it tactfully if you see him posing nude or ‘examining’ a playmate
4. Encourage children to express their feelings.
5. Reassure the child that she’s safe with you.

Never
1. Take her to a place where she’s refusing to go.
2. Let a perpetrator get away.
3. Panic.
4. Brush aside your child’s complaints
5. Forget to commend the child for its honesty.

How to stop constipation?

Constipation may be due to lack of fibre foods or water. Many a time certain foods like bread or rotis can cause this in some individuals. Identify and avoid them. Stress can also cause constipation. Drink 8 to 10 glasses of water every day, eat plenty of fibrous food and exercise a few minutes. Chew your food well and eat at regular times. Take laxatives only under directions from a doctor. If it persists a thorough examination is recommended.

How a hug a day reduce stress levels?

Studies have shown that hugs give a nice feeling that lasts all day. What happens when you hug is that you’re reassured that you are safe and secure in this world. The feeling that there’s someone who stands by you and loves you for what you are energizes the system and motivates you. The joy of finding support in times of stress is a great stress reliever. Hug your partner every day and see the benefits of better stress control. Do it now.

Don't Give Up Quotes to Motivate you everyday

You should never give up hope. For all you know you may just be reaching your goal anytime. Read these don't give quotes and get inspired everyday.

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there who will try to discourage you. Don't listen to them. The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
Sidney Sheldon

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
Samuel Beckett

Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
Conrad Hilton

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Japanese Proverb

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
Dale Carnegie

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.
Jane Adams

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
Ella Fitzgerald

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Dale Carnegie

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.
Louis Pasteur

Never Give Up Motivational Quotes - I

Don't give up because you may just be near the winning post. Pearls of motivational sayings from wise men who have won the hard way.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!
General George S Patton

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
Harriet Beecher Stowe

The man who wins may have been counted out several times,but he didn’t hear the referee.Never quit or give up….never…..never give up.
H.E. Janson

I’m proof that great things can happen to ordinary people if they work hard and never give up.
Orel Herhiser

It matters if you just don’t give up.
Stephen Hawking

Over the last several years, there have been ups and downs, but I have no regrets… I will always be an entrepreneur, as I am having the roller coaster ride of my life!
Prakash Somasundram, Founder, Yolk

I am confident. I never give up.
Arantxa Vicario, Spanish Tennis player

I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.
Keats

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent
Marilyn vos Savant

Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense
Winston Churchill

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
Dr. Robert Anthony

It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.
Babe Ruth

When should you say NO to your love?

Relationships are built on the platform of honesty. You must not take things lying down or accept everything the other says. If you feel you’re deceiving yourself by accepting what he or she says, you must put your foot down and say NO. If internally something the other says or does is making you uncomfortable, then you must express your feelings. If something is against your principles, be straightforward with your love. Learning to say NO is a positive strength in you. Realize it now.

4 Signs of a Heart Attack you must know

If you feel short of breath and are uneasy, you must rush to a doctor. Chest discomfort with squeezing or pain in the centre of chest for a few minutes could be a warning of an attack. Discomfort in the back, arms or neck could also indicate an attack. Feel like vomiting, sudden sweating and feeling of dizziness must be investigated immediately. Rush to a doctor at once, do not delay. The earlier the detection, the safer you are.