Positive Mantra

Let’s get it straight right away. All children lie or steal at some point of time. Only the frequency may vary. Parents needn’t worry if the child lies, but must take care to explain that one must always speak the truth. And by doing that the child’s parents can find a solution to the actual problem.

Every child must be taught that to lie isn’t accepted behaviour. And if one wants to be loved and cared for, one must always speak the truth. Rigid rules and over expectant parents are often the cause for persistent lying in children. It’s very difficult indeed for a child to confirm to every rule. So whenever he flouts a rule, he resorts to lying fearing a reprimand by the disciplinarian father. So it undoes what a parent actually wants of the child.

Its wise for parents not to confront the child, “Don’t lie. Tell me why did you lie….. will you lie again”. That’s a typical reaction of an overanxious parent. Do not instill guilt in the child over small matters. His character hasn’t been damaged because he lied once or twice. And the same time don’t let the child feel it isn’t wrong. Encourage him to express his actual problem. And in earnest see the solution. Just make him feel it’d be a lot better if he didn’t repeat that.

Some parents may laugh over an incident where the child lies. That could be a tragedy. Do not send wrong signals. Above all, you don’t lie to each other or to the child over anything. Speak the truth. Remember, the truth frees us all.

Continue reading "Is your Child Lying or Stealing? Learn to Deal with It" »

Posted by JayRaj at 06:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Very often we are confused about how to handle our talented child. Do we answer all his curiosities. Tell the child to shut up and do his studies. Here are expert from someone who has dealt with exceptional children and counseled parents.

Years ago a middle-aged man and his nephew were playing chess out in the verandah in Phillipines. Having arrived at a complicated middle game, there was a lot of thinking to do. A little boy of seven who was playing in the garden breezed in, moved a piece and darted into the house. The move led to a checkmate very soon. Spotting this prodigious talent, his parents put him in a chess club and lo! he went on to become Viswanathan Anand, the World Chess Champion.

But, not all such gifted children are lucky. Two decades ago when I was in the 7th standard, a classmate exhibited rare knowledge in physics. He talked about liquid fuel in rockets, life on Mars and nuclear reaction; we were all in awe of him. Initially, the Physics teacher tried to answer his questions, but soon he ran of patience, or rather answers. “Don’t act funny. Questions outside the portions will be dealt with separately. Come see me in the staff room,” screamed the teacher. The last I heard of him was he worked as a marketing executive. If only he had a more understanding teacher and parents, I’m sure he would have advanced much further.

Continue reading "How to deal with your talented child" »

Posted by JayRaj at 09:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Holidaying and kids are a contradiction. Any exasperated parent would vouch for this. You must plan your travel carefully, if you have kids under three, or you’ll end up wondering if home wasn’t better.

No doubt babies love to travel since the constant motion soothes them to sleep. But travels don’t mean mobility all the time, it also means noisy railway stations, overcrowded buses and boring airplanes.

When you pack your bags, put nappies, clothes to change, towels, shoes and socks, a small bed, comforting toys and a dummy, if your child is used to one.

Medicines are a must, for loose motion, cold and fever. Rattles. Pluck and fix toys, cards, colour pencils, magic slates and building blocks do away the boredom.

Soaps, creams, mugs and water bottles will take care of the little one’s hygiene.

Continue reading "Planning Holiday Travel with Kids" »

Posted by JayRaj at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

How often do we hear a child say, "Mummy Jennie is not giving me her toys, but when she comes home she plays with my toys." A child does seem to know rights and wrongs. This he actually learns by watching parents, elders, neighbours and relatives. And possibly television and movies.

Teach 'em early

Children must be taught morals from their formative years when much of life's vital learning takes place. If parents take care to steady the child's values he will grow up straight. Else he'll become like the angled plant which can't be straightened later.

Set examples

The best way to teach children what's right and wrong is by practicing those values you want to instill. When you don't quarrel, get angry or hurl abuses, he knows that it's the approved behaviour. Let them learn from the way you behave with your spouse and others.

Even if you are upset or in a mood to hurl abuses at your spouse, hold yourself when the child is around. Try postponing the issue and dealing with it when your child has gone out to play. That way you'll ensure that the child understands morals when you talk about them.

Continue reading "Parenting Tips for Teaching Your Children Right from Wrong" »

Posted by JayRaj at 08:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Almost every child exhibits fear of some kind. And parents must understand positively that this is quite normal. Little children are very dependent on parents and feel inadequate to handle certain situations. They may imagine strange noises, scream at the shadows or be scared to death of ghosts. Most parents deal with it in two ways. “Oh, Akshay you aren’t afraid of that. Are you? or “Don’t act like a pussy. You aren’t a child anymore.” The pep talk and the shaming do more harm than good. Infact it adds to the agony of the child that he has to loose parental respect or love because of his fears. This couldn’t instill inner conflicts in the child.

Telling a child that its normal goes a long way towards solving this problem, “Its just normal. Even I was afraid of strange noises when I was young.” This reassures the child that his feelings aren’t abnormal. Better still hold his hands, take him onto you lap and calm him before trying to reason with his fears.

Continue reading "Managing Fears of Child Positively" »

Posted by JayRaj at 09:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)